it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
