I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
