I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
