i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
