Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
