A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
