So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
