Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
