Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you win again, gameday.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
