Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
