doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
oh god the rape fog is back!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
