they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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