I must be too annoying 4 u.
you traded sex for a burrito?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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