Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
