What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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