can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
