I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
