i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
