I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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