Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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