Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
