Yo dont text me then not text me
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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