She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
