Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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