The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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