You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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