Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
nutella sex= disaster
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
