This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
