I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
