Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
