I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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