what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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