And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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