I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
