he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
