dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
