Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
