As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
