the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
