He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
