I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
