Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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