friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I can't turn off my feet"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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