I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
