Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
