My nipple is on Facebook.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
