So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
And then my night got REAL pukey
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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