My first STD was from a foam party
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
