id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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