no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
