I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We left an ass print on the piano.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
