So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
