Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm both gender and math confused
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Never joke about your clitoris.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
