So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
