You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
