I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
