I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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